This is part two of a three part series.
Part two will discuss the harms of ableism.
Part three will discuss how we can be less ableist.
The focus of this piece will be on ableist microaggressions. This will be a very brief overview! For a deep dive into this topic, please see the text upon which this piece is based: Microaggressions in Everyday Life, 2nd Edition by Derald Wing Sue and Lisa Spanierman.
There is a spectrum of ableism. At one end there is discrimination in flashing neon lights which we can all spot, will be appalled by and will wish to combat. At the other end there is a microaggression.
What is a microaggression exactly?
A microaggression is an environmental, verbal and/or non-verbal everyday interaction whereby implicit biases against a marginalised group accidentally slip out causing harm to the marginalised person - even though no harm was intended.
Microaggressions can be hard to spot. Why?
The microaggressor does not have the lived experience of the microaggressee. Their privilege (in this case, being a person without a personal lived experience of disability, chronic illness and/or neurodiversity) means that their biases and how these are expressed in words and behaviour are subconscious.
The microaggressee (in this case, a person with a personal lived experience of disability, chronic illness and/or neurodiversity) may feel that a microaggression has occurred but may not be able to pinpoint exactly how or why the interaction was harmful in real time. Microaggressions are brief, everyday events that are sandwiched in amongst many other brief, everyday events that are not microaggressions - there may be very little time to identify that a microaggression has occured, why it was harmful, and to respond to it before the moment passes.
An example of an ableist microaggression
At the end of 2020 I was told that a board who has extended accommodations to me have been really helpful and obliging in meeting my needs and that is something to be grateful for.
During the actual conversation I felt myself reacting to what was said but I was not aware of what specifically triggered me. Upon reflection, I realised that the message I received, although it likely was not intended, was this: "You have been given a special favour and you should be grateful that people have gone above and beyond when they didn't need to so just be happy already."
How are microaggressions harmful?
Even though they are hard to spot, microaggressions are real, they occur over and over again for people of marginalised groups, and can have significant and ongoing impacts upon the microaggressee.
In my case, having requested accommodations for twenty years, I have received environmental, verbal and non-verbal cues that my requests are at best, inconvenient, and at worst, may offer me an advantage that I do not deserve. In actual fact, the right for disabled, chronically ill and neurodiverse individuals to access accommodations is outlined in legislation in many countries throughout the world as a mechanism to achieve equity. This comment, like many before, and many to come, was like another little cut with a knife. It took a toll on me mentally and emotionally for many weeks.
Microaggressions can also be harmful to the microaggressor from a cognitive, emotional, behavioural and a spiritual/moral perspective, examples of which include:
Anxiety when interacting with certain marginalised people or groups
Avoiding interactions with certain marginalised people or groups altogether
Fear of seeming ableist
Feeling guilt or shame if the microaggression is called out
Dehumanising certain marginalised people or groups.
Image description: Johnny Rose from Schitt's Creek saying "Well that's not good". He is wearing a grey suit and a pale blue shirt with the top button undone. He has short grey hair. He has prominent black eyebrows. He is clean shaven.
I agree with Johnny Rose - it's not good.
How can you best call out ableist microaggressions as the microaggressee?
Will you be safe? Consider you physical, psychological and emotional safety.
Can you forsee any significant negatives? Will there be ramifications for you personally or professionally that outweigh any positives?
Is it worth it? There may be some occasions where it's not worth the trouble.
Consider the best time and place to address the microaggression. Certain situations can increase the risk of defensiveness in the microaggressor which may be counterproductive.
Practice ways to interrupt microaggressions. How to Respond to Microaggressions has a number of excellent phrases to try.
How can you best respond when ableism is called out and you are the accidental microaggressor?
Don't debate the content or tone of the message. Statements like"You're being too sensitive" or "You're making a mountain out of a molehill" or "I didn't mean it like that" or "Your tone is unprofessional" or "This is not the forum for you to address this" simply feed the blame game.
Impact is greater than intent. You may truly have meant no harm but harm occurred. The harm trumps your intent.
Listen, clarify where you went wrong, and do better in the future.
Understand any emotions you feel when ableism is called out. Do you feel guilty, angry, defensive, helpless, anxious? Are your feelings masking your discomfort about being called out?
Calling out or responding to being called out is definitely not easy! We can be unsure but still give it our best shot. Kind of like David Rose and his dancing.
Image description: David Rose from Schitt's creek doing a little dance.
He is looking a bit unsure but is trying to pump himself up.
He is wearing a striped dark coloured jumper. His jeans are pale coloured with a marble pattern. He has short dark hair and is clean shaven.
Part three will discuss how we can all be less ableist.
Author: Janette Hayward, Founder, Dare To Be Aware
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